Well, now, you wanna hear ’bout them horoscopes by Eugenia Last, huh? That Eugenia, she been at it for a dog’s age, talkin’ ’bout them stars and what not. Some folks, they swear by it. Others, they just kinda shrug. Me? I just listen, you know? It’s like the weather, ain’t it? Can’t change it, might as well know what’s comin’.
This Eugenia Last, she says stuff ’bout all them signs. Not just one or two, but all of ’em. Like, she’ll say, “Oh, you a Cancer, born in June or July? Better watch your pennies!” Or somethin’ like that. She got somethin’ to say ’bout everybody, that Eugenia.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ I believe it all, mind you. But sometimes, she hits the nail right on the head. Like that one time, she said somethin’ ’bout “pay attention to the little things” for them Leos. And wouldn’t you know it, my neighbor’s Leo, he found a twenty dollar bill in his old coat pocket that very day! Coincidence? Maybe. But still, makes you wonder, don’t it?

Some folks, they look at this Eugenia Last horoscope for today thing every single mornin’. Like it’s the gospel truth. They plan their whole day ’round it. “Oh, Eugenia says today’s a good day to buy a lottery ticket,” or “Eugenia says I should stay home and avoid folks.”
- June and July folks, them’s the Cancers, she says. Pay attention to the small stuff, she tells ’em. Add your own little somethin’ special.
- She talks about love and all them things, too. Gives you the good news and the bad, straight up.
- She’s been doin’ this for more than thirty years. That’s a long time to be lookin’ at them stars!
- Some people call it star gazing. It sounds like magic, don’t it?
Me? I just read it for fun. Like readin’ the funnies in the paper. Don’t take it too serious, but it’s interestin’ to see what she’s gonna say next. And sometimes, like I said, it’s kinda spooky how right she can be.
She writes these horoscopes by Eugenia Last every day, I think. Or maybe it’s every week. Don’t rightly recall. But you can find ’em if you look for ’em. They’re out there, in them newspapers and on them computer things. Lots of places have ’em.
This Eugenia, she say if you got someone tryin’ to beat you at somethin’, your actions will speak loud. Kinda like that old sayin’, “Actions speak louder than words.” Ain’t that somethin’?
And she ain’t afraid to tell you when things ain’t lookin’ so good, either. She’ll say, “Watch out, you might have a bad day,” or “Don’t go spendin’ all your money today.” It’s like havin’ a little old lady whisperin’ advice in your ear. Only, this little old lady, she’s talkin’ ’bout the stars.
This Eugenia Last horoscope, it’s for everybody. Don’t matter if you’re young or old, rich or poor. She got somethin’ to say to everybody. It’s like she’s lookin’ up at them stars and seein’ all our stories up there, all mixed together.
She even talks about love and all that mushy stuff. Says when to expect it, when to hold on tight, and when to let go. Now, I ain’t no expert on love, but that sounds like pretty good advice to me. ‘Course, love’s a tricky thing, ain’t it? Like tryin’ to catch a greased piglet. Just when you think you got it, it slips right through your fingers.

This whole horoscopes by Eugenia Last thing, it’s just somethin’ to think about, I reckon. Don’t go bettin’ the farm on it, but it’s somethin’ to ponder. Like lookin’ at the clouds and seein’ shapes. You know they ain’t really dragons and castles up there, but it’s fun to pretend, ain’t it?
Whether you always read them star things or just startin’ to wonder about it, this Eugenia Last, she’s got somethin’ for you. She says she’s been helpin’ folks with them stars for a long time now, makin’ big choices and such. Says it ain’t about tellin’ the future or just lookin’ at stars, but somethin’ more. That’s what she says.
So, next time you see them horoscopes by Eugenia Last, take a peek. You might be surprised what you find. Might just be a bunch of hooey, but then again, it might just be somethin’ more. You never know, do you? Them stars, they’re a mystery. Just like life, I reckon. Full of surprises, both good and bad.
Anyway, that’s what I know about this whole Eugenia Last horoscope business. Hope it makes a little sense to ya. Just remember, take it all with a grain of salt. And don’t go blamin’ Eugenia if your lottery ticket ain’t a winner! She just reads them stars, she don’t control them.